A Pregnant Mockingjay
by 2fast4u2
Summary: Begins at the end of Catching Fire and goes through Mockingjay. Katniss finds out she's pregnant and now must get Peeta back from the capitol. x3 Everlark A mix of fluff and angst.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Hi guys! Not too long ago I wrote a similar fanfic called Missing The Mockingjay, where Peeta had to rescue Katniss but now I want to do it from more of Katniss' POV. Don't know if anyone will really be into this, but since I'm already writing it I might as well publish it. If you do read, please review. This begins right at the end of Catching Fire and goes throughout Mockingjay. __ Enjoy!_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing of **__**The Hunger Games**__**or its characters, this is purely for fun. **_

When I wake, I'm pleased to be able to move my arms again; to feel that I still have fingers. I slide myself down off the table and tiptoe my way into a narrow hallway. I listen carefully to the voices right outside, trying to blend in and not be spotted.

I grip the syringe in my hand tightly, ready to find Peeta and end all of the awful pain for us. Another rough voice answers who I know is Plutarch, Haymitch! I stumble my way through, syringe gripped tightly in hand.

Haymitch grabs my arm and forces me to release it, while Plutarch puts me in a chair by Finnick. Haymitch sits in front of me and attempts to explain what happened.

The rebel plot, the plan of which I was again used as a piece in. It's pretty hard to digest really, but what upsets me more is him not telling me.

The secret plan for the others to die to ensure I lived… I am the mockingjay, the one that survived despite the Capitol's plans.

"Peeta…" I barely manage to get out. "Where is Peeta?!" I say stronger, raged and glaring into Haymitch's eyes. Haymitch tells me he was captured by the capitol. I stand up, ready to lunge and attack him. _He was supposed to protect Peeta, We had a deal!_ I think.

"Katniss…" he says sternly, but I can't yet read his gaze. "There's something else you need to know. While you were out, the doctors they ran some tests and…" his voice trails off, as his eyes fill with a look of rage and sadness.

"You're pregnant." he says flatly, "Want to tell me about it, sweetheart?" a tone of annoyance clear in his voice. He manages to yell out "How could you?" before I start scratching my nail down his face. We scream horrible, obscene things at each other and I continue to struggle even as Finnick tries to pull me away.

Before I know it, I'm back on the table restrained by the hands of many. A needle jabs my arm and I continue to bang my head against it until I give up. I'm sedated but not asleep, so I can still hear others talking but all I can think about is Peeta.

What the capitol is doing to him, I don't know. Part of me wishes we were all dead, at least then it would all be over.

I resolve to give up. They can do whatever they want to me, but my will to live is gone. I have no sign of hope like I did with the dandelion in the spring. Nothing to show me that it could get better.

Part of me wants to die, just in spite. I want to punish Haymitch for allowing us to be used as pieces in the rebels' game. I trusted him and he betrayed me. I stay like this until one day when I'm faced with someone I can't ignore _Gale._

He knows me so well, knows how I work. His arm is in a sling and there are bandages under his shirt, something bad must have happened. Gale tells me softly that there is no more District 12.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Hey guys, here's Chapter 2 __. Just so you know, I'm planning to pretty much follow the original plot and still have Gale presented as Katniss' best friend. Thhis cchapter starts with beginnninngg of Mockingjay. Thanks so much for the favorites and reviews, it means a lot!_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing of The Hunger Games series or its characters.**_

I don't quite know why, but I had to come back to District 12. Just to see it for myself really. I'm not allowed to stay long since I can only visit. It took a good amount of persuasion- begging really- to convince Plutarch to let me come. He finally gave in, saying that maybe a visit to twelve is what I need to be convinced we're on the same side.

My mind thinks back to Johanna digging the tracker out of my arm. I don't know who to trust anymore and I can't seem to make sense of what's real. Between the concussion Johanna caused and the meds they used on me, I sometimes see things that I don't know if they really exist or not.

The doctors suggested I start with the simple things I know to be true first and run down the list. _I continue to sit like this until Gale's voice reaches me through the earpiece I'm forced to wear. I insist on being alone through it though. He seems to understand, especially since it was him that helped the citizens of twelve survive._

_I walk toward the rubble of where the bakery owned by Peeta's family once stood. Part of me aches for him, but more so for the baby. His child, I wonder if they will ever get to meet. The rebels have been talking at me, telling me of their plans to use me as the face of the rebellion._

_Would doing it really make things any better? I don't know. Part of me wants to run away, far away from any of this. Just forget everything and start over, but of course there is my family to think about. And Peeta. I'm stuck…What can I do?_

_I turn around at the sound of a hiss, it's Buttercup. He's in no mood to see, but the sound of Prim's name catches his attention. _

_Gale tells me we must go back now. I go back to grab my father's hunting jacket when something catches my eye. It's a rose with Snow's scent. I want to scream, to yell out at finding it but instead I make my way back onto the hovercraft._

_Later, I'm called down to Command; where I see Peeta being interviewed by Caesar Flickerman. From what I can tell, he still looks strong and healthy. It feels good having Gale here with me now as a confidant of sorts. He doesn't try to push anything and it feels like how we were before the Games._

_So far the only person that knows I'm pregnant is Haymitch and I haven't seen him since the day he told me I was. I don't know how to tell anyone else yet, but I don't know how much longer I can hide it. The morning sickness keeps me up at night and my mother looks suspicious but I don't dare mention a word of it. _

_Gale tells me that Peeta's calling for a cease fire to protect me that he's still trying to keep me alive. I spring up, ready to do something when Gale asks me what I'm going to do. I feel it now, rising up out of me. "I'm going to be the Mockingjay!" I spit out._


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Hey readers, hope you're enjoying my Fanfic thus far. __ I'm having a blast writing it. Slightly off-topic, but if you haven't seen it yet go see __House at The End of The Street.__ Jennifer Lawrence is fantastic and it has a really interesting storyline. Helps me wait for __Catching Fire __to come out anyway. Next Chapter, Katniss is going to reveal her pregnancy to someone else. You'll see. _

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing of The Hunger Games or its characters.**_

After tossing and turning for hours, I finally accept tonight will be a sleepless night. There's too much for me to think about to sleep. I have to come up with a plan to be the Mockingjay and it has to be just right to make sure of the outcome.

After another round of morning sickness, I find myself making my way to the dresser. I dig out the pearl Peeta gave me during the Quarter Quell. It soothes me for some reason; it's like having a piece of him here. Prim notices me and asks if anything is wrong, but I just try to make it seem like everything's fine.

I think she knows something is up, but I haven't mentioned a word of it. I find ways to cover things up. The nausea I blame on my stomach not being used to food yet. I'm emotional because of Peeta being gone. But I don't know how much longer I can hide it.

She tells me she's good at keeping secrets, even from mother. I look at her and I see not the frightened little girl from the reaping but that of one who has grown up. It feels right to tell her, but I'm not sure that I'm ready. Before I can think about it, I blurt out "I'm pregnant".

Prim stares at me for a moment in disbelief, searching my eyes to see if it's true. I gulp and sweat at the thought of what has just occurred, but all Prim says is "I thought something was up. It's not like you to be sick or…" I cut her off, shushing her so mother doesn't hear.

We sit in silence for a moment, both unsure of how to respond. I tell Prim of my plans to be the Mockingjay and she helps me realize the rebels will have to try to agree to my conditions. I want Peeta and the other victors safe, free from fear of execution.

It'll have to be a public agreement, that way it will be harder to break such a promise. I join Gale for breakfast and realize one of my conditions should be to allow us to hunt. In Command, I write out my list of conditions and lay out my plan.

Afterwards, Plutarch hands me a sketchbook filled with sketches that could only have been done by one person: Cinna. We make our way to compartment 3908, where despite the guards I push in to find my prep team. They're naked and covered in bruises.

We take them over to the hospital, where my mother checks them out. They check out ok and I'm released of my duties for the day.

Gale and I go hunting, much like how we used to. Then he asks me why I care so much about my prep team and we fight about it. We ignore each other on the way back, each not wanting to even acknowledge the other.

Coin announces the deal for me to become mockingjay, but at the last minute she says something that surprises me. Any deviance from the agreement will cause it to end and the fate of myself and the other victors would be determined by Thirteen's law.

Mother catches up to me before dinner and only says "We need to talk." I stare into her eyes and see the same look of anger and sadness she had before my first Games. It's clear she knows something is up and I'm going to have to come clean.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Hey guys, I'm still having a blast with this. __ FYI This chapter mentions some (erm… well you know how babies are made, lol). Thanks to all my followers and reviewers, I never expected this to take off so quickly. Enjoy!_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing of The Hunger Games or its characters.**_

_From last time:_

_Mother catches up to me before dinner and only says "We need to talk." I stare into her eyes and see the same look of anger and sadness she had before my first Games. It's clear she knows something is up and I'm going to have to come clean._

"Katniss, what's going on? And don't say it's nothing, I know you haven't been sleeping at night." _Oh no! _I think _She's onto me. What should I do, what can I tell her? _I think, as I gulp at her asking. I try to find the right words, the right way to say it but nothing comes to mind.

Instead, I sit and stare back at her. "It would be easier if you could tell me. You're not yourself lately." she sighs. For whatever reason, this angers me as I rise. "Not myself lately?! I've been through two Hunger Games, Peeta was taken by the capitol and I'm, I'm…" I trail off, not wanting to finish the rest.

"You're what? Katniss!" mother yells "Tell me this instant!" Tears begin to form in my eyes, as I barely manage to choke out "I'm pregnant." Mother looks shocked for a moment and then softens her gaze on me. "Is it Peeta's?" I nod, overcome with tears as I bury my face into my shirt.

I'm not one to cry, but the weight of everything has finally hit me. _What if I have to raise this child myself without Peeta? Is mother ashamed of me?_ Mother only asks why I didn't tell her earlier and I shake my head. "I never wanted to have kids, not in a world like this." I manage to spit out.

She doesn't say anything else before she's called back to the hospital. I find my way into another supply closet and stay there for a while. I think back to one of the last nights before the Quarter Quell. It was so cold that night, Peeta and I longed for each other's warmth.

We kissed and before I knew it, we both woke up naked but happy. I never expected to get pregnant, especially for my first time. _I never wanted to have kids_ I think _But maybe it was meant to be. _Between the Games and keeping my family alive, I've never understood how other teenagers could be so naïve.

They were careless, reckless at times. They stayed up late and always had plenty to eat. What it must be like to not wonder where your next meal comes from, I don't know. I dream of a place where Peeta and I and our child can be happy and live in peace.

Whatever happens, I have to make sure my child never has to be a part of the Hunger Games. I must find a way to end them and the only way to do that is to continue being the Mockingjay. I try to remember this as my prep team attempts to remake me to be the Mockingjay.

We make our way to the dining hall, where bowls of okra stew await us. The smell alone is enough to make me feel nauseous but the sliminess of it doesn't help either. I manage to eat my portion and find my way to the bathroom. I'm still determined to find this as long as possible, especially from Coin.

Gale and I make our way down to see Beetee in Special Defense. He brings us both bows that we try out. I make my way back to my prep team and try to film a short propo. I try to muster all I can, but dead silence continues on for a while until I hear a laugh.

Over the intercom, I hear Haymitch's voice. It makes me angry, furious really to think of him still being a part of my life. The next morning, I'm called to a meeting in Command lead by Haymitch. He shows the footage shot yesterday, where both my body and my voice seem shaky.

He goes around the room asking people to name times when they were genuinely moved by me. It feels weird to think about it really, though maybe Peeta was right. I have no idea that effect I can have. My holding out the berries in my first Games means different things for people.

Love for Peeta. My refusal to give in to impossible odds. Deviance against the Capitol. Then Haymitch suggests something unexpected; he wants to put me in actual combat. Gale argues that people think I'm pregnant. _Oh God _I think _If only he knew…_

Plutarch says he'll spread the word that I had a miscarriage, but I wonder what he will say when he knows I'm pregnant for real. I'm going to hide it as long as I can for my own sake, but what will I say about going into combat. I blurt out that I want to go because, yes part of me does.

The other part of me knows that if I slip up, if I don't perform well…We're all dead, simple as that. Haymitch asks to speak with me privately, so I try to let go of my nerves. Gale stays by my side and I hope Haymitch will figure out he doesn't know.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Hi guys, sorry I missed posting yesterday. __ Here's your next chapter and I'll probably post another tonight. Enjoy!_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing of The Hunger Games or its characters.**_

I tell Gale that I'm ok and sit alone, face-to-face with Haymitch. We both shout at each other and acknowledge how we both failed Peeta. It feels good really, like some of the tension between us has released but I don't dare bring up the elephant in the room.

He stares for a moment at my belly, as if anticipating it looking bigger. "How many months along are you?" he asks quietly. "Three." I answer. "Good so we still have time…" his voice trails off "I think we both know Coin won't be pleased, so let's keep this up as long as we can. For your safety, anyway."

As long as we can. The words hit me hard _As long as we can _I think _My pants are getting too tight! _I don't have any defining bump quite yet, but I've definitely gained some weight. I wear as many loose fitting clothes as I can. I say nothing more as I reach my family's compartment and lie down on my bed.

I'm going to have to tell Gale eventually, but I'm worried how he'll react knowing it's not his. I love Gale, though not in a way compared to Peeta. He looks and feels more like a brother to me. I have an ultrasound appointment today during our hunting time, so he'll definitely notice.

_Do I lie or just come out and tell him? What should I do? _I think. I go over scenarios over and over in my head until I hear a knock at the door. It's Gale. He lets himself in and comes walking over. I'm still laying on the bed, staring up the ceiling when he comes in.

"Catnip, are you alright?" he asks, worry fills his eyes. "Oh yeah, just tired. I need some sleep." I reply and fake a smile to try to be convincing. It's obvious it doesn't work though, because he still looks worried. He tells me he's worried, that I don't seem myself lately.

I decide that now's the time, so I try to work up the nerve to tell him. The two words, small as they seem, struggle to escape my lips though I know he hears me. "I'm pregnant." I whisper and immediately Gale's eyes widen. "You're…You're, what? How long have you been?"

"Three months." I say weakly, noting the hurt in his voice. "How could you not tell me for so long, Katniss? How could you not tell me?!" he says angrily. "And I'm guessing it's not mine, right?" I nod, though I make Gale promise to keep it secret for my sake. He slams the door and runs away.

I stay where I am until three o'clock rolls around and go down for my doctor's appointment. It's one of mother's friends so she knows the situation. She doesn't talk much, while I like and I enjoy listening to the baby's heartbeat. Tears fill the corners of my eyes as I look onto the screen that holds the image of our child.

I fear that Peeta may never met his own child and that I will remain silent, unreachable like my mother was. I wonder about what the capitol is doing to him, what they think he knows. I don't have long to think though, because I'm called down to a hovercraft destined for District 8.

I sit next to Gale, who doesn't saw a word and across from Haymitch, who just shrugs. The only thing that offers me a glimmer of hope is when Plutarch mentions that if the rebels win, there will be a new kind of government run by the people.

If we lose, though, there's a definite possibility of an even worse set of Hunger Games. _And that _I think _I can't let happen. _I take time to greet the injured in Eight, their excitement is pleasing yet overwhelming to me at the same time. To think that I hold such a power is hard to believe and I realize both Coin and Snow this.

I'm busy discussing the hospital's condition with Boggs, who announces we must get to the airstrip immediately as there's an incoming bombing. I try to run, but as the bombs fall I'm pinned to the ground and can't get up. Boggs stand over me like a human shield.

We're instructed to get to a nearby bunker, when I become aware of the bombs' target: The hospital. Suddenly, I yank my earpiece out and climb up a ladder to a roof where Paylor (Eight's commander) and Gale join me.

Gale and I don't speak to each other the whole time, as we try to take down the bombers. I catch a glance at the hospital, which by now has become a madhouse. The building's on fire and people are screaming, but there's no way to get them out.

Cressida asks me if I want to send a message back to the rebels and I manage to make a pretty convincing speech. Boggs carries me back onto the hovercraft and I wake up back in Thirteen's hospital where my mother hangs over me.


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: Greetings! Don't have much to say tonight, other than I __**really **__appreciate all the favorites and reviews. *Sigh* As usual, I own nothing Hunger Games related. Enjoy. _

My mother goes out checking everything and making sure I'm ok. What concerns her, though, is the fact that no one even told her I was leaving. She's upset and says I shouldn't have gone, especially because of the baby. I want to tell her something, that I'll be fine and nothing will happen to me or the baby. But I can't guarantee anything.

The best I can manage is that this way, I'll be helping the rebels and making sure the Games end. If word got out that I couldn't fulfill my duties as Mockingjay, who knows what our fate would hold. I want to tell her this now, but since I'm in the hospital and other people are around I decide to wait.

I'm called down to Command and manage to make it there in a wheelchair. The camera crew awaits me and they beam with pride. I feel relieved to see it's just them, but then the room begins to fill. The propo they made yesterday plays and applause is given. Coin cuts in and questions the amount of risk we took when filming, she calls for us to remain more cautious.

Surprisingly, no one mentions our disregard for orders yesterday. I sigh and relax a little until Haymitch speaks softly and gives a deadly smile. He's definitely not amused about the earpiece incident. Gale helps wheel me back to the hospital. The expression on his face seems friendlier than before except his eyes.

They still show me that he's in pain, though I don't know any words of comfort I could offer him. Like it or not, I'm pregnant and in love with someone else. I don't wish him anything bad; I just don't feel that way towards him.

I decide to take a nap and when I wake, Haymitch sits right by my bed. It's as if he is anticipating something, his face is hardened. I'm horrified by the earpiece contraptions and vow never, ever to remove my earpiece again. He leaves without another word.

I spend the rest of the afternoon thinking about the bombing and all the other horrid things the Capitol has done. _Will it ever end? _I think. Finnick comes and eats dinner with me, as we wait for the new propos to air.

Just as I start to yell for him to turn it off, Peeta appears in another interview with Caesar. He looks so much different from the last time, it's hard to digest. Plutarch and Fluvia enter and we do our best to pretend we never saw Peeta. If anyone heard what he said and took it for real… No one mentions it, though.

I'm partly glad they didn't, but worry at the same time. What they must be thinking of those words, so pointed against them… I decide to try to sleep but just give up because of the nightmares. Instead, I close my eyes and pretend I'm asleep. I don't want to be bothered right now.

The next day rolls around, though nothing remarkable happens. I'm released from the hospital and head back to our compartment, where another sleepless night awaits me. I get up and have my arm tattooed with the day's schedule, production is right away.

I eat breakfast in the dining hall and sit next to Gale. I'm furious with him about not mentioning Peeta's broadcast and it's clear he isn't pleased with me either. He tells me he was afraid to mention it, as were the others who thought it would make me sick. _Of course, it does! _I think, as Gale and I nonchalantly go our separate ways.

We reunite to film interviews that will be a propo, back in District 12 and the meadow. It feels wrong, really, as the meadow has always been our place of solace. I find a lone mockingjay and before I know it, the tree branches are filled with the birds. I decide to sing "The Hanging Tree" at Pollux's prompting.

I can't help thinking of how Peeta and I resemble the couple in the song. I used to think the last part was the creepiest thing ever, until I was in the Games. And so I think of how we have almost decided to die together before. The berries. The syringe I had carried around determined to end our suffering.

The crew asks to see our old hunting ground and as we enter it, I realize how much has changed since the first reaping. Of how I no longer have to hunt every day to make sure we eat. Of how I might lose Gale. My stomach churns when one of them asks if either one of us has ever been tortured.

I run and make my way to my old house in the Victor's Village. Gale asks if I remember this being where I kissed him, as tears form in his eyes. He says to forget it, to just leave him alone since I only notice him when he's in pain. I don't know to respond, so I end up walking away.

I spent the next day back in Thirteen, mostly eating then sleeping. Boggs catches my attention and tells me I'm wanted in Command. They're going to broadcast our propos tonight, but there's something else going on. President Snow and Peeta appear on TV as well.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: Hi guys! So sorry I missed posting yesterday, it was a quite a hectic day for me. __ Glad to be back in my own little world of Fanfic though. As always, I own nothing THG related. Enjoy!_

From last time…

_Boggs catches my attention and tells me I'm wanted in Command. They're going to broadcast our propos tonight, but there's something else going on. President Snow and Peeta appear on TV as well._

Peeta appears on the screen and speaks as though he's frustrated about something. He's obviously worn, as there are multiple bags under his eyes. His face is covered with cuts and bruises and he looks almost nothing like himself. It's so hard to see him like this. I want so badly to end it, to make his torture stop…

I can't think of any good way to do it without ending up there myself. Before I have time to think of anything else, Plutarch yells in excitement that Beetee was able to break in. Soon, a battle erupts as the rebels and the Capitol attempt to broadcast despite each other.

Plutarch and several others cheer at every broadcast that gets through, but Finnick and I just stay seated and silent. I glance over my shoulder and see Haymitch, who knows that as I do, with every cheer Peeta slips further and further away. Finally, Peeta appears and is asked by Snow if me has any parting words for me.

He warns sharply that no one is safe, everyone is thirteen will be dead by morning. Snow yells for the cameras to stop, but it's down recording the white tile floor. One thing is clear, though. There is a blow to his head and blood spatters onto the tile. A scream slowly escaped me, horrified of what I've just witnessed.

Haymitch shouts at the others, tells them they need to prepare for an attack. Coin says we're due for a Level 5 security drill, so we might as well evacuate. Shrill, ear-piercing sirens sounds. Lights flash brightly. We've got to go now. And so we all make our way, down the seemingly endless flights of stairs. Deep into the underground.

Plutarch tells me I need to be aware of the others in my bunk watching me. He tells me they'll know how to react based on how I do. I know I should try to appear as though everything is fine, but really all I want to do is panic as I think about all the things that could go wrong.

I make my way to our section and read through the required protocol, gathering three packs for my family. I then reach step three, which is to await further instructions so I sit on the floor against the wall. I close my eyes for a minute and try to visualize everyone safe. My mother appears, but I notice Prim isn't with her.

I realize she must have gone back for the cat_. I should have drowned him!_ I think. I push my way through the people making their way down. Doing so reminds me of the first reaping, where I had tried to push my way through to volunteer and save her. Footsteps and the calls of Prim and Gale fill me with relief.

I give Prim a tight hug and give a small "Thank you" to Gale, who hands me my hunting bag just slowly walks away. We make it to our section and settle in. Then sirens sound again, as the first bomb hits us. I wait for the ceiling to crumble down, but instead there's just a slight shake. Night falls, as my mother, Prim and I hold each other on one of the bunk beds.

My mother says she's glad Peeta was able to tell us before it happened. That's when I realize in the telecast, Peeta looked as though he was fighting through in his mind. I try to deflect the thought and focus on Prim. It's been so longer since we had time together.

She tells me of her training in hopes of becoming a doctor, something pretty substantial in my mind. She asks how I am and tells me not to say I'm fine, so I tell her about Peeta and how I think he's been killed. Prim tells me they couldn't kill him, because then there wouldn't be anyone else to use against me.

It sounds so familiar, so alike to what Johanna said in the arena as I tried to warn her about the jabberjays. _Would I be like her some day?_ I think _Alone, with no one else I love. What could they possibly be doing to her? _Peeta's all that Snow can reach at this point, the only one left to use against me.

I think back to Peeta's words to me before the first Games, of how he wanted to be more than a piece in them. And I think of him now, again being used in a game against me as I ask Prim what she thinks they'll do to him. She sounds so old, so unlike the girl from the first reaping when she tells me they will do to him whatever it takes to break me.


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: Hey guys, here's the next chapter. Just an FYI, Peeta's hijacking will be a bit different than in the book and some of the plot may be too. Hope y'all are enjoying this as much as I am! _

What will it take to break me? I wonder about it for the next three days. _What else can they do to me? Two Games, the burning of my district, the bloody violent death of Cinna. Cinna_! I think _I long for him, the way I could confide in him. _

_Of how like no one else, he had my trust and always knew the right thing to say. Would they ever kill Peeta in the same way?_ I try to dismiss the thought and keep to the schedule we're ordered to maintain. We have small breaks for socialization, of which Buttercup has become very popular.

He plays what I call Crazy Cat, where Buttercup tries to catch the light beamed by a flashlight. During the third night, I realize how it so closely resembles my situation with Peeta. As long as Buttercup feels he has a chance of catching it, he chases the light with a fierce aggression much like when I was pulled out of the arena.

The thing that aggravates him the most, though, is when I leave the light on but out of his reach. Snow is trying to do the same to me, by showing Peeta on TV. I can see him in full view, but can't reach him. I realize what Snow is trying to do. He doesn't want rebel information from him; he wants to torture me as well.

Not physically, but emotionally I'm tortured too. With every day of Peeta getting worse, I do as well. This is what will break me. I feel myself slipping further and further into it, into having it take over me. I feel the pain of it all hit my chest, my muscles tighten. I get up and whisper over to Finnick.

It's clear he knows this is Snow's plan already. He tells that when we first met, he didn't believe I really loved Peeta until his heart stopped. He tells me not to fall apart now, that it will take ten times as long to put myself back together. I tell him quietly that I'm pregnant for real, that it wasn't just an act.

He nods, saying he knew something was up. The more we can distract ourselves, the better he says so we spend the night tying knots. The next morning, we're allowed to leave the bunker but we're called to make a propo right away.

Gale eyes Finnick, like he thinks there's something going on between us but I don't care. We reach the old justice building, where white blood-scented roses are scattered. The smell makes me shake and break out in a sweat. Cressida has me try to film a few lines, but I can't do it.

I'm really, truly broken now. I can't stop sobbing. Haymitch appears and I reach out for his embrace. I want his comfort because of course he loves Peeta too. I tell him I can't do this anymore, that all I can is what they'll do to him because of me. I go hysterical and there's a needle jabbing me, taking the world away.

I awaken a day later in bed, where Haymitch sits next to me in a chair. I think of Peeta again and start trembling when he tells me they're going to get him out. He tells me they didn't before because it's very costly and the team was volunteer only. I ask twice who volunteered until he tells me I know who else. Gale!

_What if I lose both of them? _I think back to my first Games, when I told Peeta he could kill me and go home and live with it. _What if I have to live with it now? I can't._ I feel the need to do something, I want to go with them but Haymitch tells me I can't. Instead, it's decided we should make propos.

I tell of how I came to know Peeta and how he gave me the bread. Of how Snow once told me of how the Capitol's fragile and I know it's true. Finnick tells of how Snow used to sell him to lovers. I think back to how he told me once that he wanted secrets from his lovers.

When he's finished, we try desperately not to think of what might be happening. We tie knows until our fingers bleed. Haymitch find us and says we're wanted at the hospital. I take Finnick's hand and lead him there. I see Gale and Johanna as they're wheeled in.

A young woman who I quickly realize is Annie calls to Finnick and they both run towards each other, unaware of any of the rest of the world. They cling tightly to each other. I make my way to Peeta, smiling bright. He jumps off a bed and holds me in his arms for a moment.

His hand reaches up toward my belly and I think he goes to rub it, but then his hand turns into a fist. He punches it, then grips my throat with his fingers. I stand for a second in shock, disbelief. I try to call out for help and wiggle my way out, but in a moment I realize it's useless. I hit the ground with a hard smack, then my eyes close and everything goes black.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Hey guys, sorry this chapter's a little short but I wanted to give you something to read at least. As always, I own nothing.

I wake with a cold collar around my neck, listening as the others talk. I'm not supposed to speak yet, so I can't say anything back. It was Boggs who was able to knock Peeta out before he did any more damage. The doctors tell me I'm lucky that the baby was ok with the punch to the stomach he gave me.

I can't help but wonder why he would try to hurt me like that and even our baby. Could he have killed me? I don't know, I don't even want to think of it. They say he's been hijacked, whatever it is that means. Prim has stayed with me ever since it happened, holding my hand. The doctors come and remove the collar and Haymitch, Plutarch and Beetee make their way in.

Beetee tells me they most likely hijacked his memories of me and convinced him he was to kill the baby as well by using tracker jacker venom. I'm in disbelief, to think that he saw me as dangerous, hurtful… And the baby! Will he ever be like himself again? Or will I raise this baby alone without him?

I don't look up until Prim asks Haymitch if he thinks Peeta will ever recover. He think he might get better to some extent but won't ever be the same. I go back to shutting everything out, I can't bear the thought of losing the boy with the bread. Plutarch tries to cheer us all up by saying at least Peeta is alive.

His stylist and prep team were executed on live TV. To think of more people killed because of me, what I did…It's unbearable. I try to fight back tears which cause me to resume gasping for air until they sedate me again. I spend the next few days silent, because I'm supposed to and I have nothing left to say.

Gale finds me one night quietly then disappears without a word. I'm allowed to leave the hospital the next morning and wander until Prim takes me to our new compartment. She leaves and I go down to Special Defense. Gale and Beetee are designing weapons, making the essentials like water or food deadly.

Their plan involves two bombs. One bomb explodes and allows time for people to reach the wounded, and then a second more powerful bomb kills them. I speak up immediately, wondering if it crosses a line. Gale says they're following the same rules Snow did with Peeta.

As I make my way out, Haymitch catches up to me and tells me I'm needed at the hospital. They're trying something new with Peeta. Delly Cartwright sits in the room used by Peeta's team. She seems so happy, so friendly really. Everything goes well until Peeta figures out that Twelve burned down. He tells Delly it was because of me, I'm a mutt…

They pull me away, out of the room but I can still hear his screams. I tell them I can't stay here anymore, faced with the potential of Peeta never being the same. I can't go to the Capitol yet, so I demand to go to District Two. I have to unite the districts, reach the capitol and finally kill Snow. I have to make sure my child never has to witness the Games, to live in fear and starvation. It can't happen.

I reach Two and spend my days making propos and sitting in on meeting to discuss the war. Since the incident with Peeta, Plutarch found out from one of the doctors that I'm pregnant. In turn, Coin has too and she isn't very pleased. I've got to make up for it now and perform well.


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: Hey readers, I'm back. __ Sorry for the delay, it's been kind of a crazy week. As always, I own nothing Hunger Games related. Enjoy!_

It was the morning before I'd woken up after being pulled out of the arena that a Capitol spy dressed as a doctor found their way to me. They think this person reported back to Snow, which he used to hijack Peeta against the baby and me. Later on, they found a copy of the blood test that showed I was pregnant stolen.

I had thought it was bad enough Peeta was hijacked and convinced I would kill but to think of the baby…_The baby!_ I think, as a cold chill runs through me. _What if we can never undo the hijacking against Peeta? Will Peeta ever be able to spend time with his own child? _I don't have much time to think though, as we stay busy in District 2.

I find myself longing for the old Peeta I knew. I miss his kindness, the warmness he had with people. I get updates every day, but none of them really give me much hope of anything. Haymitch unexpectedly gives me some when he tells me of Prim's idea to hijack him back.

I smile a little at the thought of my sister, of how she has grown so much. The next day Gale and Beetee arrive to help conquer the mountain. He tells that he saw Peeta yesterday, but all he could think is something selfish. That he'll never compete with Peeta, no matter how much pain he's in.

If Peeta doesn't get better, he says, I'll never be able to let it go. I nod, knowing it's true. I knew it in my first Games, where I knew if he died, I'd never be able to move on. I'd go on and live, but not really live. I'd still be waiting for him, trying everything I could to get him back.

Gale says I'd never feel right about being with him because of Peeta, much like how he could never be with me knowing I'll have Peeta's child. I come to accept what I'm sure the outcome will be, Peeta will never come back to me.

I'll finish here in Two, kill Snow and that will be it. I know now I have a child to think about too, but I don't know that I can do it alone. We spend the rest of the night in silence. The next day involves a meeting to plot out how to take over the entrances of Two's mountain, nicknamed the nut. Gale comes up with a plan to bomb the mountain in an avalanche like fashion.

Everyone shows different expression as they consider Gale's plan. Lyme, District 2's commander argues that the workers contained in the nut should have a chance to surrender. Gale doesn't want to allow it, he wants them all dead…I don't know what to make of it. Of course, part of me wants to seek vengeance on these people who are almost as bad as the Capitol.

But it is right to cause them all to die in this way? No air could enter the mountain and I'm sure chaos would ensue. I try to get Gale to reconsider, telling him doing this would be like causing a huge mining accident too snap him back to his senses.

I suit up in my mockingjay outfit to ready for the attack. I watch as the sides of the mountain roll down, trapping people inside. Haymitch's voice reaches me through the earpiece, I run inside to avoid an air attack the Capitol will try to give. I sit alone in silence for a few hours, trying to make sense of all that has just occurred.

I'm told I have to make a speech, of which Haymitch helps feed the lines of. They need me to help stop the fighting, surrender their forces. Just as I begin to speak, a young man inches his way up the steps where I'm standing. He holds a gun targeted up at me and asks one reason he shouldn't shoot me. All I manage to get out is "I can't."

I make an impromptu speech of how we're all the Capitol's slaves. I look up toward the screen, hoping to see that it's reached someone. Instead, I watch as I'm shot on television. Everything goes black.


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: Hi everybody! Just a quick FYI- I'm ending this fanfic pretty soon, although nothing definite yet. Hope you all are well, thanks for reading. __ As usual, I own nothing THG related._

I wake to find myself back in a bed at 13's hospital. I've been out for awhile now and just manage to wake and look around. The drugs they give me do little to quiet the pain on my side where the bullet hit. My hand runs over the thick bandages that cover my ribs. I'm surprised to find I'm still alive.

The curtain whips back and Johanna stares at me. In my mind, I still haven't forgiven her for knocking me out in the arena. She saved my life, though not really because she wanted to. She plops herself down on the bed and hooks herself up to my drip, saying she didn't think I'd mind.

In fairness, I can't really. She's the one tortured by Snow. She tells me the bullet never touched me, my suit must have blocked it. I've got bruised ribs and no spleen, but thankfully am still alive. Johanna says she hates me partly because it's everyone's job to keep me alive though more so because of the way I defend the helpless- for real.

She leaves as Gale comes in. I can't read his face as I usually can; it's softer than it has been in awhile though. He says I think he's heartless and while I don't, I'm still not sure that what happened at the mountain was justified. The doctors want me to rest for a few weeks, which makes me feel a bit crazy but I try to comply for the baby.

Plutarch and I talk one day, where he tells me they're about to throw a wedding. It will be made into a propo as well. I'm about to open my mouth and object when he tells me it's for Annie and Finnick. The next few days are spent prepping for it. Everyone seems excited to have something to celebrate.

I sit clapping as I watch everyone dance when Johanna grabs my attention and says I shouldn't miss the chance for Snow to see me dance. The thought of Snow seeing me happy, dancing- surviving despite the Capitol's plan, it's too good to pass up. I find Prim and we dance together.

My ribs hurt but I ignore it and keep going anyway. I remark on how much my belly has grown now. I'm six months along now, three more months left to get ready. To get Peeta back. I brush the thought away and continue dancing.

It's so nice in this place, where everyone is happy. I think back to right before the Games when Peeta wished to freeze a moment in time with us and live in it forever. But my biggest wish to get the old Peeta back, the boy with the bread. The one that gave me hope even in the darkest days.

As their wedding cake is wheeled out, I'm aware that something about it seems so familiar. I stare at it for a moment until I realize it could have only been done by one person. Peeta. Haymitch seems to sense this and asks to talk alone.

He tells that Peeta would like to see me. I open the door slowly, not knowing what to expect. He stares at me for a long time, taking everything in. He says he knows about us, the baby…He goes on about the bread, about how he must have loved me a lot. I quietly ask if he still does and he nods slowly.

"I want you to get better." I whisper, choking back tears. He takes my hand and squeezes it. "Katniss, I am better." he says. "Stay with me?" he asks, sounding so much like his old self. I can't turn away from him now, not like this. "Always."

I spend the rest of the night in his room. We talk, as I lay my head on his chest. He strokes my hair, rubs my belly. It feels like us again, happy. Maybe we can be a family after all. We spend the next morning talking about the baby, picking out names.

Peeta's cleared to leave the hospital, though he still returns daily for his therapy. I'm giddy with happiness, thrilled to have him back. We set up a new compartment, complete with a crib. Everything seems perfect until one thing grabs my attention. My stomach tightens then loosens again and I let out a scream in pain.


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N: Hi guys, here's the next chapter. Just to clarify, Katniss is having the baby early for a variety of reasons. It works better with the plot/timing and while I'm at it I want to bring some awareness to the issue of premature birth. I have had the privilege to personally visit preemies and other babies in the hospital. For the rest of this fic, I will have a "Did you know?" section about it as well. As always, THG belongs to Suzanne Collins not me._

_**Did you know?: **__1 in 8 babies iis born prematurely. That's more than half a million each year in the US._

"Ahhh!" I scream, as another wave of pain hits me. Peeta walks in and asks what's wrong. I only manage to make out softly "The baby". He grips my arm and tries to lead me over to the hospital, but soon I drop to my knees. I breathe heavily, in and out and try to get up, but I can't make it. He manages to carry me there in his arms, reassuring me like always that it will be ok.

He sets me down on a bed as the doctors check me over. I keep hold of his hand tightly, not wanting to let go. I need him now more than ever. I'm given medicines to try to stop the contractions, but they don't stop at all. In between screams, tears spill out of my eyes. _It's too early_ I think _I'm only 6 months…_ and worst of all _Did I do this?_

My mother and Prim come in and right away I recognize the look on their faces. It's the look that is determined yet frightened and sad all at the same time. It's the one that my mother wore when she tried to heal the hopelessly ill. And I know before she says anything what is going to happen. I'm going to have the baby tonight and there's no way to stop it.

My mother goes on to explain what will happen once the baby's born, how it will have to stay in the hospital for weeks probably months to grow. I look to Peeta who shares my expression, pained. Not wanting to believe it. It will be several hours until the baby actually arrives, the waiting is even worse.

Finally, the moment arrives though it still doesn't seem real. The baby who we name Ayden, a girl. She is silent, still. She doesn't cry at all and I don't even have a chance to hold her before she turns blue. A team of doctors and nurses gathers around her, hooking her up to machines. One puts a tube down her throat and a machine takes over, making her chest rise and fall.

In what seems like a minute, they wheel her away and take her to the special nursery. I think my mother pronounced it as the nick you. Nick you? I think for a second, then I remember it's a NICU, a special nursery for babies born early. I'm not allowed to get up and see here for a few hours, but Peeta can go. He doesn't want to leave me, but I insist he goes.

He tells me she's okay now, with the machines helping her. I can see in his face that he's holding back tears, as am I and we just cry and hold each other until I'm cleared to see her. Peeta pushes me there in a wheelchair. I can see her through a clear box the doctors call an isolette. She looks so small it's hard to believe.

The only thing that keeps me going is my need to kill Snow and end the Games. I convince them to let me train for the war. Johanna and I begin training with the beginners, but I can't keep up. The pain in my ribs stops me. Soldier York tells me there's a treatment that although painful would make them heal faster.

Peeta and I decide to have him stay back with Ayden while I'm gone. And though I don't expect it, Johanna and I become somewhat like friends.. My days are spent training and visiting Ayden. I say my goodbyes before leaving, knowing I have so much to protect now.

_A/N: I think from here I'm just going to skip to the bombing In front of Snow's mansion, unless anyone has anything else they'd like to add. Oh and Ayden is technically a boy's name, but I thought it was perfect otherwise. _


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Hey guys, I'm back! Sorry for the delay, school and everything's been pretty busy lately. Got some questions/comments with your last set of reviews, so I'll attempt to answer them here. In no particular order:

Yes, I LOVE the name Ayden too, especially because it means "little fire". I also didn't picture Katniss wanting a particularly girly name either and I loved the name and its meaning.

I'd love to continue this story as long as possible, but my life right now is pretty busy (see #3) and I need to focus on taking my courses this semester too. I wish I could write fics instead of papers, but I can't. For now, I have tried to make an ending that does THG justice.

No, I don't want to be a doctor myself but I have a huge respect for what they do. I want to do something called Child Life, which basically entails helping kids understand, cope with and still have fun and be kids while in the hospital. I volunteer biweekly at a children's hospital and love it! Don't wanna go on for too long, so if you're interested in this more PM me.

I tried to be accurate with the whole prematurity issue, but as this is fiction I kind of skipped past. In reality, some preemies will spend weeks possibly months in the hospital depending on how early they are.

It's hard to believe all that has occurred so far since I left District 13. Boggs' death, leading the crew on my secret mission to reach Snow… My focus shifts back to making a plan to reach Snow's mansion. He's letting displaced citizens in, what better chance could we have? It seems silly to pass it up, maybe it could work.

Nervousness runs through me as I consider all the possibilities. It's like being back in the arena again. Making it to the Circle, my mind is racing. I catch a glimpse of a barricade- filled with children –in front of Snow's Mansion, realizing it's for his protection. I watch as a hovercraft with the Capitol's seal appears and parachutes fall and explode.

A team of people dressed in white uniforms rushes in. They're rebel medics. One catches my eye with a blond braid and a duck tail formed by her shirt. I find myself reacting the same way I did when her name was drawn, going limp and then pushing my way through to reach her. I almost make it there, almost reach her.

Her lips form my name, just as the rest of the parachutes explode. Next thing I know, I am literally on fire. For awhile I manage to escape reality, to escape within my own little world. The smell of burn medicine, the sound of my mother's voice…These things bring me back to the painful reality of being a badly burned girl with no will to live. And worst of all, with no sister.

Having no reason to go, no will left. I have no words, as I become a mental Avox. I spend my days wandering and eventually wander into Snow's quarters. Considering the possibilities of who did what, it's a lot to try to work out. The bomb that Gale and Beetee designed, was it theirs? I make my way to Haymitch, trying to find an answer but he's too drunk to help.

After a few days, my prep team comes in to get me ready for Snow's execution. Gale follows and we talk privately for a few minutes. I look at us now and find us almost unrecognizable from before all this happened, before when our biggest concern was having enough to eat. I can't shake the association between him and the bombs that killed Prim.

I want to say he was wrong, that it doesn't matter but I can't. I walk outside, face to face with Snow when something occurs to me. If I want it to end, Coin must be stopped and my arrow points its way up toward her heart. I release it and she falls to ground, dead instantly.

I'm taken back to my old room in the training center, amazed to think of all that has happened since then. Surprisingly, I begin to sing again; to feel that maybe life can go on. Haymitch finds me one day and tells me it's time to go home. I'm confined back to Twelve and I realize Haymitch has to come too, because my mother isn't.

When we land, I find Peeta waiting for me. There's someone else, too. Someone who couldn't wait to meet us, who I can't imagine now living without. Little Ayden, small but stronger now ready to take on the world. She's our little fire, the one who ignites our world. The one we have to protect now and forever.

Slowly, together we rebuild our lives together. And I know now that no matter what, we would have been. Peeta is what I need, the hope to survive even the worst. The promise that whatever happens, life can be good again.

Epilogue

My kids, they play in the Meadow. Ayden, the girl with dark chestnut hair and sweet blue eyes, has grown so much from the tiny baby she once was. Her brother, who we named Ember, holds the same fiery spirit that we do. He had Peeta's hair and gray Seam eyes like me.

Arena destroyed, Games ended. We ensure they never have to go through what we did. I still panic a bit, fearful that any sort of pleasure could be taken away. Like a game, I list every good deed I've seen done. It's a little repetitive, even after 20 years but of course we know there are much worse games to play.


End file.
